Give the Gift of Peace of Mind

Looking to give a unique and meaningful gift to someone interested in improving his or her life?

Gift the gift of peace of mind with a gift certificate for a coaching session (over the phone so your recipient can be anywhere).

I have a special price of $89 for one session for those of you wanting to give.

I will e-mail you a beautiful pdf certificate that you can print or e-mail to a lucky recipient.

Send me a note at maura@blueprintlifedesign.com

How Do You Take Care of Yourself While You Care for Others?

Are you taking care of others in a way that depletes you or leaves you empty?

In that case, it’s easy to become critical and resentful of loved ones. Any need or request becomes a burden and further drain on our own energy and resources, a trigger for painful thoughts, a threat to our own well-being.

I’m working on an article about how to take care of your own well-being even when you care for others.

What would you like to explore about this?

How do you keep a healthy relationship to yourself?

E-mail me: maura@blueprintlifedesign.com

If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you’ll have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t giving to yourself. Barbara DeAngelis

Tired or Overwhelmed? Try This.

Do you notice what your mind says upon waking in the morning?

I do.

It goes like this:

I AM TIRED!

(Then it calculates the number of hours before I can sleep again and runs through all of the tasks in between). Sigh.

But let’s go back to: I AM TIRED!

Joel Olsteen points out the power of “I am:” Whatever follows “I am” will determine your experience. You are inviting it into your life.

Here are two ways to handle such unhelpful thoughts:

  1. Replace the thought.

Now if you’re feeling tired, your mind isn’t going to buy a replacement thought like “I am energetic.” But how about “I can handle this;” “I am going to feel so much better after I shower.” Or the best thought, “Coffee is ready!”

2. Preface the thought with I am having the thought that…

This gives you some space from the thought so that it doesn’t take over your whole person. ‘I’m having the thought that I’m tired.” Even more space: I notice that I’m having the thought that I’m tired.:” It takes a bit of the sting out the thought, right?

“I’m so overwhelmed” becomes “I am having the thought that I am so overwhelmed.” Instead of “I’m stressed,” try, “I’m having the thought that I’m stressed” or “My mind is telling me stressful thoughts.”

Of course you can use these strategies any time of the day when you notice you’re mind saying “I am… (insert deflating, unhelpful adjective or noun).”

10 Ways To Make Yourself Miserable

  1. Compare yourself to those around you. Even better: Compare your insides to everyone’s outsides. Best: Compare your insides to everyone’s social media outsides. Proceed to despair.

  2. Resist uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Buffer (avoid/control/numb) the discomfort by keeping busy, eating, drinking, scrolling…

  3. Ignore your truth, pretend, and please everyone. Make sure you hide your flaws and insecurities and wrap yourself in a pretty package so that you will be acceptable and belong.

  4. Blame others for what you are feeling and for what’s not going right in your life. In this effort to transfer the pain you are feeling onto someone else, you hand over your power to take action to change things for the better.

  5. Hold grudges. Do not forgive. Treat others kindly and respectfully only if they treat you in such ways.

  6. Believe your mind when it tells you that you are not enough - not good enough, thin enough, rich enough, smart enough, certain enough, safe enough.  Listen to your ego when it tells you that you are what you have, what you do, and what other people think of you.

  7. Avoid discomfort by not doing hard things, even if they are important to you.

  8. Don’t ask for help. Believe that asking for help makes you weak and not enough (see # 6).

  9. Believe that you are the only one who thinks, feel, or does the above.

  10. Don’t hire a life coach to help you disrupt these patterns. :)

The Two Lies Anxiety is Whispering in Your Ear

I was listening to a podcast the other day (I start many sentences with this phrase), in which Ellen Hendriksen named the two lies of anxiety:

  1. The worst case scenario is definitely going to happen.

  2. You can’t handle it anyway.

In other words, that thing you worry about, the worst, is inevitable.

And when it happens, you won’t be able to cope. You’re not tough enough, capable, smart, or strong enough to handle it.

The problem with these lies? They keep us from doing (scary) things that are important.

When we believe these lies, we keep our lives small.

What if you believed, that no matter what happened, you could handle it? You could do your best and that would be enough?

You would probably take more action toward things that are important.

You would avoid less.

Or maybe you would just relax a little more.

Here are a couple of things to do to silence the lies of anxiety:

  1. You can gather evidence to dispute the lies.

  2. You can take yourself through the worst-case scenario.

I’ll give you an example.

I have a fear that when my husband is gone overnight, someone will break into my house and do terrible things to my kids an me. Not fun to think about, right? It makes it hard to sleep, which makes it hard to do anything else.

Years ago, my brilliant life coach helped me with this. Now she could have just helped me gather evidence as to why this worst case scenario was very unlikely to happen (where we live, dog, lights, statistics, living through many nights…), which was helpful. This calmed my mind but my mind could still argue the possibility.

So my coach also walked me through the worst case scenario. . Where would someone break in, where would I be, where would the kids and dog be, how would I get to them and get out…so I ended up with a plan. I felt empowered. This coaching session was many years ago and I still think about it because it was so powerful.

The worst was unlikely to happen. But even if the worst happened (and I am not denying that the worst would be awful), I could handle it.

I saw through the lies of anxiety.

I sleep much better these days. I hope you do too.

Would you like to talk about how to let go of the lies? I have a special coaching day this Tuesday, October 16th.