How do you know you really want what you want?
How do you tell the difference between an authentic, core desire that will take you toward peace and your ideal life and an inauthentic desire that may ultimately leave you unhappy? How do you make a decision aligned with who you really are?
Figuring out what we want is often more difficult than actually getting what we want.
When this is the case, take what you are considering and mentally explore it with non-judgmental curiosity. Check in with your body's reaction to it.
True, authentic desires taste of love and feel like freedom. False desires taste like fear and feel like grasping. Decisions that come from the ego are attempts to eliminate risk and control what other people think. This is a big one. Think about how much we do or don't do so that otherpeople don't feel disappointed or angry or so that they think we are accomplished, beautiful, smart, put together...Desires that come from our true selves serve the purpose of eliminating regret, feeding our souls, and creating freedom (for everyone).
Eckhart Tolle says you will know a desire came from the ego when you get what you want and it doesn't satisfy you. Martha Beck suggests that, before you go out and work toward what you want, imagine you have it, and ask yourself,
And then what?
You say "I do" at your beautiful wedding. And then what?
You watch the sunset in Maui for two weeks. And then what?
You land the promotion. You hold your newborn baby. You fit into the jeans. And then what?
If what comes next and next and next...is as delicious as the moment of getting what you want, then you know you are on to something.
The photos on the blueprint blog are not necessarily related to the content, but serve to add some visual beauty. Photos courtesy of my husband, Geoff Captain. The above shots were taken of a beautiful June wedding near San Luis Obispo, California.