I have learned so many life changing concepts and tools from training as a life coach, coaching clients, and being coached myself, that I have pages and pages of blog post ideas that I look forward to sharing with you. But if I had to pick of couple of BIG IDEAS out of all that I have learned... The first will likely make sense to you. The second (which I will share in my next post) may surprise you. If you're a client, you've already heard both.
Here is the first: Your thoughts, not your circumstances, create your feelings. Tell me where I am wrong, but don't we all walk around blaming our stress and anxiety on to-do lists, children, the economy, traffic, jobs, significant others, and ill-fitting jeans? We think we would feel happy and relaxed if only we had a bigger house, more money, a different job, friends and family members who followed our rules, and a new BMW (oh sorry, that's my own thought).
The real source of our problems is not in the outside world; it's in our minds. It's not our circumstances that drive us crazy; it's our thoughts about those circumstances that cause pain.
This is actually exciting news. Circumstances, many over which we have little control, are always changing. The constant is that we can control our thinking. We have the power to change our thinking and therefore, change our experience of life. We are not limited by our situations. We are trapped by the stories we tell ourselves.
There is nothing wrong with making changes in the material world. But if you change your circumstances without changing your thinking, you are treating the symptom and not the cause of the problem. You can put yourself in a new house, a new car, a new job, a new relationship, even a new body. But if you take the same old thoughts with you, you're going to feel the same old way. There are plenty of rich people who stress about money and plenty of thin people who don't feel good about themselves.
So say the circumstance is: You lose your job. You can think, for example: I will never find another job in this economy. Or, you can think: This is an opportunity for me to discover work I really love. Which thought feels better?
When we choose thoughts based on love and truth and let go of thoughts based on fear and falsehood, we feel calm, relaxed, relieved, and peaceful.
Great, you're thinking. I'd like to feel better, but I also need to pay the bills. Well, when we feel good, we take action to create the results (circumstances) we want (our perceptions actually alter our physical reality, but that gets into quantum physics and I won't be going there, at least not right now). Looking at the above example, which thought is more likely to lead to fulfilling work and wealth? Yep, that's what I thought.
If you have the same damn thoughts, you're gonna have the same damn day. -Meadow DeVor