We all become irritated with others. Some of us walk around in a general state of irritation. I was thinking about what causes this irritation.
It's the words in our heads.
He should...She shouldn't...
The baby shouldn't scream. The kids should clean up. The teenager shouldn't talk back. My hair should be straight. My husband should appreciate me. Katie should put down her phone. Larry shouldn't say anything. They should know better. Johnny should agree with me. Old Sally shouldn't write checks at the busy grocery store checkout.
To life coaches, the word "should"is a red flag. It is the root of so much mental angst.
What can help?
Just noticing the reason (the stream of words in your mind) for your irritation can help. Find the words interesting. Recognize, as Byron Katie famously notes, that getting caught up in the "shoulds" is "arguing with reality."
All the stress that we feel is caused by arguing with what is. -Byron Katie
Stepping outside of and observing your mind allows you to handle challenging situations as your best, calm, non-irritated self.
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