“To Get Something You Never Had…”

"...you have to do something you never did." -Unknown

Doing something you never did starts with thinking something you never thought.

Clients often ask me how our thoughts create our reality. If that concept sounds...oh what's the word..."woo woo,"  I understand. I like to see grounded proof too. And now I am going to share it with you.

If you look for it (which I do), you find that the idea that our thoughts shape our world pops up in writings across time, culture, and subjects. Come to think of it, that sentence proves my point.

Weight Loss Coach Brooke Castillo maps this out clearly and elegantly in a model she calls "Self Coaching 101."

A basic assumption for the model (and for coaching in general) is that your thoughts about your circumstances (not your circumstances) create your feelings.

So here it goes:

Circumstances can trigger...Thoughts which cause...Feelings which cause...Actions which cause...Results. Interestingly, the results end up providing evidence to prove the thoughts true.

Here is my "Coaching Yourself Out of Stress" handout I created to explain this model to groups.

Now, let me show you the thought pattern of Nicole, whose family owns and operates a local Italian restaurant:

Circumstance: Our family business is losing money. Thought: I will run out of money. Feeling: Panic, anxiety, doubt, fear, exhaustion Action: Question my financial decisions, lash out at family, cry, do nothing, have difficulty concentrating Result: Family members who don't talk to each other, time & energy wasted, isolation

As you can see, Nicole's thought leads to action that hinders making money. And the pattern is likely repeated over and over.

In order to create a new pattern, you replace the old thought with a new thought that feels just as true but is useful. We played with the words of the old thought to uncover a new thought (that Nicole never had before).

Circumstance: Our family business is losing money. Thought: Money will run to me. Feeling: Relief, freedom, lightness, love Action: Start lively conversations with patrons, talk about restaurant at soccer games, wear t-shirts with business logo, donate gift certificate to school fundraiser. Result: Booked two rehearsal dinners in the same week, more business and more money running in.

This new thought leads Nicole to take action that is more likely to increase business. Again, the results provide evidence for the thought.

If you keep creating the same unwanted results over and over again in your life, try thinking a new thought and see where it takes you. We live our lives proving our thoughts true. A new thought may take you to a feeling, an adventure, a career, a relationship, a finish line, a body you never experienced. That thought alone excites me.

Click here to download a free Self Coaching 101 class & worksheets.

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