Re-posting a couple favorites for the day:

A Letter To My Daughters

For Everyone on Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day!

Image via Geoff Captain Studios

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I get to work with teenagers who are struggling – academically, emotionally (usually both). Recently, I was ready to give up on one of them.

I had been meeting with Sean weekly for 6 months to work on what was getting in the way of passing  his classes. But he continued to fail. He didn’t even seem to care. That’s what irked me the most.

At our last session, Sean was failing two out of six classes and barely passing two others.  With only a few weeks of school left, I knew it was not likely that that he could pass. He would have to repeat  Algebra & Biology, extending  his high school career (unless he chose to drop out).  So, of course, he was giving up. And I completely understood. My mind was trying to come up with reasons to try.

Chances of  Sean climbing out of this hole were slim.

Perhaps you feel like giving up.

You may be in a relationship that seems beyond repair. In so much debt that you don’t know how to climb out.  About to break under the weight of caring for so many people.  Buried under clutter or responsibilities or an endless list of tasks. So far behind, you don’t know how to catch up. Your ideal weight, job or life may be too far out of sight.

Perhaps you are tired and overwhelmed (I am no stranger to these feelings).

Here’s how to dig out:

First, offer yourself compassion. This topic deserves its own post, but for now, give yourself warmth, encouragement  and unconditional acceptance in your internal dialogue. This means being kind to yourself in your thinking.

Next, remind yourself that challenges, failures, and pain are simply part of being human. We are all the same and we are all in this together.

Finally, step outside of yourself and observe your thoughts, emotions and sensations without judgement or resistance. This mindfulness makes new behaviors possible.

Then, connect with what is important to you and take one small step in the valued direction. 

It turns out that Sean did care and when he let himself, he cried about it. Much of Sean’s pain came from the fear of disappointing his mom, who works hard at two jobs.  Sean felt that he was letting his mom down. So I tried to help him connect with his values. Sure, he wants to pass his classes, but that’s not the only point. Right now, Sean can work hard (a family value) and learn.  He can feel good knowing he is doing what is important and making his life meaningful.  This also increases his chances of passing.  And if he does not pass a class, working hard and learning now can only help him  next time around.  His next step was asking teachers if he could make up assignments.

What is your next step?

Is it writing a list? Making a twenty-dollar payment? Drinking a glass of water, touching your running shoes, saying a prayer, giving a hug, making a call, opening a book, asking for help, breathing deeply, prioritizing, apologizing, resting, signing up?

You don’t have to do it all right now.  You don’t even have to know all of the steps. Just take one small step in the right direction.

You need to be content with small steps. That’s all life is. Small steps that you take every day so when you look back down the road it all adds up and you know you covered some distance. It took me a long time to accept that, but it’s true. -via light-between-the-leaves

Did you miss the April Blueprint Newsletter? Check it out here.

Image via Geoff Captain Studios

My morning routine: oatmeal with blueberries & chia seeds (My husband says it looks like gravel)

President Obama has a habit you may want to adopt. Or at least adapt.

As he explained to Michael Lewis in this Vanity Fair profile, Obama wears only gray or blue suits. “I’m trying to pair down decisions,” he says. “I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make.”

The President described himself as “routinized” and referenced research finding that the act of making decisions impacts our ability to make further decisions. This explains why shopping can be so exhausting.

This prompted my own reflection on how much time & energy I spend deciding which tasks to complete and when, or (one that really drains me), deciding what’s for dinner. For the dreaded dinner question, Christine Carter at Raising Happiness has a great idea: automate meal planning so that it becomes a habit and takes less time & energy. Take a look at Christine’s weekly meal plan for her family here.

You can also enter meals into a Google calendar and have items repeat every so often (so you can have Aunt Betty’s famous meatloaf every 3 weeks!).

My free Blueprint for 2013 planner includes the question, “What routines or systems will support my goal achievement?”

I want to let you all know that Brene Brown is talking with Oprah on this week’s edition of Super Soul Sunday (3/17). The show airs at 11am ET/PT. For those of you (like me) who don’t get OWN, there is a simulcast on oprah.com. I believe part two of their conversation airs the following Sunday. Enjoy!

When it comes to your life, are you all in?

I recently wrote a guest post for Purpose Fairy about saying “yes” to whatever life brings – even the messy, painful stuff.

While you are visiting Purpose Fairy, you will want to read “15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy.” This post was shared over one million times on Facebook. It’s how I discovered the site. I just shared this post with some friends, and they joked that if they gave up those 15 things, there would be nothing left to do!

“When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it is over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.”
― Mary Oliver

Did you miss your FREE Blueprint for 2013? Get it here.

Happy New Year!

Now that the holiday dust has settled, are you ready to think about what’s important in the months ahead?

My Blueprint for 2013 workbook is here! It’s full of questions and lists to inspire and guide your design of 2013.  The book is free to newsletter subscribers and was blasted last week.  If you did not receive it, that means you are not subscribed to my newsletter (the blog and newsletter are two different subscriptions). You can sign up HERE  and your Blueprint for 2013 will be e-mailed to you. Free!

You can download, print, and staple the book together and get on with your planning. Or, if you want something fancier to write on…

Blueprint for 2013 is also available for purchase as a printed book through Amazon. It’s printed in color, bound, and includes bonus questions and pages beyond those in the digital version. The beautiful graphics are thanks to my husband, Geoff.  My first copy arrived yesterday (We have Amazon Prime, so it was here in 2 days). I ordered a bunch to give as gifts and others have let me know that  they have done the same.

I have been using the book to create meaningful goals for my business and family life and to keep track of my ideas for the year.  I hope you find it useful too!

Thank you for the space in your inbox!

With gratitude,

Maura

Wishing you bundles of peace, love, joy and hope at Christmastime and always.

Coming up is my gift to you: your free Blueprint for 2013 planner!

New staples in the Captain house: Carrot-apple-ginger juice & avocado-tomato-almond butter sandwiches

In this interview on balancing parenthood and work (something we struggle with in our house), Brene Brown said something simple yet powerful. When asked about how she structures her day, she identified her non-negotiables:

I don’t negotiate sleep, exercise, or healthy food. I can’t show up for my life when I’m tired, eating crappy, or not exercising.

Isn’t that the truth?  A couple of months ago, during a period of time when the baby thought it would be nice to get up and eat three times a night, my husband and I were non-functional.  Our thinking was fuzzy. I lost  patience & presence with my older kids. I  found myself reaching for energy in the form of Coke Zeros and anything  I could eat from a bag while standing up.

Since then, we have turned things around in the sleep and eating departments and we are working on the exercise. This means that sometimes, for the sake of sleep, a pile of dishes is left in the sink overnight or work is left undone.  It means more frequent trips to the grocery store to buy fresh food.  My next step is opening the calendar and scheduling walks.

My husband and I  also recognize that if our current way of living does not support what’s most important (time with family, our health), it’s time to make bigger decisions about how we live and work.

What makes your life work? A morning run? A walk during lunch? Reading the paper? A daily green smoothie? Time to pray, write, or paint?  Family dinners? Date night?

What supports your values? What sets you up to do what matters? What will you not negotiate?

Your soul came in with a plan.

Your life has a purpose.

But what if you’re not sure what the plan or purpose is?

Or what if you do know and you’re stuck under your desk feeling terrified to take that leap (You are not alone!)?

This post is to let you know that Martha Beck is teaming up with physician author/blogger Lissa Rankin and author/ life coach Amy Ahlers to help you uncover your life’s purpose.  The trio is offering a free class they are calling a “no holds barred tele-jam” on October 10th as an intro to a new telecourse.

Find Your Calling Tele-Jam  
with Martha Beck, Lissa Rankin & Amy Ahlers
LIVE worldwide event on 10/10 at Noon PT/3pm ET
Listen via webcast or phone.

I just signed up.

You can register for the free call here.

If you can’t make the call, no worries. Register & they will send you the recording.

The details were sent early to Martha Beck coaches. Here is what they will cover in the free tele-jam:

• The magic hot tracks formula for tapping into your life’s purpose (go on a safari with them!)
• How a Down syndrome baby, a suicide, and a brain tumor changed everything (and led to hope, magic, miracles and life purpose)
• The road map for finding your calling and how to identify where you are right now (so you can feel peace about your process)
• Why the question ”What do you want?” may be the WRONG question to ask yourself (and the juicy, hot, kick-ass question to ask instead)
• The single most important, and almost always overlooked, tool for figuring out why you’re on the planet (sometimes the most powerful things are the simplest!)

We are told that Martha, Lissa, and Amy are going to spill the beans about how they found their own callings.

“See” you on the call!

I shared one of my favorite coaching tools with The Confidence Course participants back in June. Those on the call described it as “eye-opening,” found it to be a different way to look at their lives and wished they had known about it years ago. It’s a tool that I return to over and over in my own life and in working with clients. Not only does the exercise play a role in developing genuine confidence, but it provides direction to help you:

• add meaning and fulfillment to your life (even when circumstances are less than ideal)
• act with purpose
• re-frame your definition of success
• plan your time & balance your life
• live authentically (this seems to be a big one with my clients)